Nobody is perfect.
If we’re putting ourselves out there, if we’re trying new things, if we’re committed to making changes to facilitate personal development and growth, then all of us will experience setbacks or even failures at some point along our journey. It’s natural.
And there are two possible outcomes to these setbacks and failures. The first is that we acknowledge the setback, we accept what’s happened, and we bounce back and move on. The second – which is remarkably common – is that we dwell on the setback; we focus on what’s gone wrong and ultimately prevent ourselves from moving forward.
It’s clear which of the outcomes is more favourable, but for many of us, it’s not a choice. Instead, it all comes down to psychology. Those with greater mental resilience – with greater psychological strength – are more likely to be able to move forward.
So how can we all work to develop greater mental resilience, and give ourselves the best chances of succeeding with our growth efforts, and achieving our personal goals?
Here are 4 techniques to try:
1. Turn Negatives into Positives
When things don’t go to plan, it’s very easy to consider these events as failures. But while they may be failures in terms of trying to achieve a specific goal, they can be highly beneficial as a learning opportunity. One common trait found amongst those with high levels of resilience is that they don’t see their failures as negatives. They view them as positives; as events that provide opportunities to learn and to grow. Failures give us a unique insight that allows us to adapt, never making the same mistake again.
2. Redefine the Meaning of ‘Challenge’
A challenge is a challenge because it can go either way; we can win, or we can lose. But this way of thinking already sets us up for psychological failure before we’ve even begun. Instead, it’s time to redefine what the term ‘challenge’ really means. A new way to look at a challenge is an opportunity. And while this opportunity may not pan out, an opportunity isn’t something that we can fail at; it’s simply a chance to try something new. We can’t dwell on failures if we never give ourselves a chance to fail.
3. Visualise the Possibilities
When something goes wrong, many of us have a nasty habit of focusing exclusively on what happened; we can’t see beyond our mistakes. People with strong mental resilience, however, look forwards rather than backwards. They don’t focus on what went wrong, but instead visualise how things could have gone better. They consider alternative possibilities, and think about how different actions could have driven different results. They learn, they change, and they move forward with confidence.
4. Allow Yourself to Feel
If a child hurts themselves, its natural instinct to distract from the pain; we don’t want them to cry. The problem, however, is that by adulthood, we’ve become accustomed to not wanting to feel bad. But people with greater mental resilience allow themselves to feel; they allow themselves to be upset by a situation, and this teaches them to have control of their emotions. Don’t be afraid to get upset by setbacks; it may help you to gain more control over your feelings and prevent them from spiralling out of control.
